On Adoption: A Face in the Crowd

3 weeks ago I shared my decision to begin a search for my birth parents. Since then I have been working with a search angel. (A search angel is someone who uses their knowledge of the search process- often an adoptee themselves- to help adoptees in their search. They offer their help for free which makes the term angel so appropriate!) The search angel I am working with has helped me ask the right questions, see the value of the clues I already had, and provided resources and emotional support to help me along the way. I’m so thankful already.

I’m actually so surprised when I look back and see it has only been 3 weeks! After many phone calls, emails, and internet searches, we have actually come a long way! The biggest clue that I had was a club my birth mother belonged to in college. After a few dead ends, I wasn’t sure this would get us anywhere.  Once I found the right person to contact I sent them an email, not sure if they would ever respond.

Two days later I received an email that had group pictures with first and last names of the club from the year my birth mother would have been there! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. My expectations had been exceeded!!


I’ve pulled out all of the women’s names, so now I have a list of 60 names with a face to match!! Somewhere in that picture, in that crowd of people, is very likely the face of the woman who gave me life! It’s overwhelming. It’s exciting.

So now we play the game process of elimination! I have a physical description and some facts about her family that will get me started!  For the ones who have Facebook and have a somewhat public profile I’m grateful! I have no idea how people searched before the internet!! It must have been much more cumbersome with many more defeats.

I am heading to my parents this weekend to hopefully find my original adoption paperwork. There will be lots of digging through boxes!! My search angel is certain there will be some more clues there so I’m crossing my fingers that I find it.

I imagine in the near future I will be reaching out making some contact with some of the people on my list. Even if I can’t narrow it down all the way, the other people on the list may remember her.


Thank you to all of you have been supportive of me. It means a lot. There are a lot of mixed emotions and feelings I never knew I had. It was not an easy decision to search, and I do not know what the future holds. Whatever comes of this, I know that I need to do it. For me.


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