Time to relearn, what history already taught us…

Fascinating research. Let’s not repeat history.

The adopted ones blog


I’d like to talk about the feelings evoked when the topic Baby Boxes are brought up, a hot topic right now in the adoption community due to the movie “The Drop Box” which is being called a stunning pro-life documentary.  The problem with talking about my feelings is hard because the reaction I have to any mention of them, or the way Safe Havens are set up, causes my stomach to churn and my words to slip away.  The feelings start with the assumptions made about what the new mothers want, but without any research about what they actually want, the assumptions of wanting confidentiality, not wanting their child, and so many others are without merit, without the voices of the mothers.

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2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 6,100 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

An Adoptee’s Perspective: 15 Things Transracially Adoptive Parents Need to Know

I know being adopted is complicated. I have no doubt being a transracial adoptee is even more so. Some helpful hints for adoptive parents. Good stuff!!!

Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee

1. Race and culture matter. My race and culture of origin are integral to my identity and will always be a part of me. Regardless of how much society claims to be colorblind, I will always be characterized and labeled by the color of my skin. Because I do not look like you, it is important for you to show me—through your words and actions—that being different is okay.

2. As a transracial family, our lives will change in ways we could never imagine. Be prepared that the perception of our family will completely change…as will our views of the world.

3. Honoring my race and culture of origin should not just be something that our family does on special occasions. It should be an integral part of our everyday lives as well. A few ways in which you can honor my race and culture on a daily basis are…

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Such a thoughtful peace. Check it out.

The Frozen Moon

They come in with fistfuls, crushed, warm and wilted in their palms. Dirt under their fingernails, smudged on their cheeks, they each come forth and bring me the soft, yellow riches of their dandelion harvest, the first for this year with it’s late birthing spring.

The broken mess of petals and dandelion heads have been carefully distributed among the cups and mason jars that Asher could find in my dishwasher.

He, they, save them, because they are beauty and spring and magic all at once. They are sagging stems and mushed petals that somehow, in a way that they can’t fully understand, have the power to make their mother smile.

Every time.

They don’t realize that the smile is in the gifting, not the gift. It’s in their soft, open hearts, not what they carry in their palms. It’s, simply, them.

I don’t even particularly like dandelions, not yet anyway. Here in my house, I…

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Confessions Of A Hoarder

A great post about letting go of stuff. Just in time for Spring Cleaning!

The Accidental Missionary


My wife and I are always looking for ways to simplify our lives.  Recently, she heard about a project called “40 Bags in 40 Days.”  In this challenge, you commit to de-cluttering a single area of your house every day for six weeks.  All excess items are placed in bags for donation or dumping.  It’s like a Lenten purge.

“Doesn’t it sounds like fun?!” she exclaimed.

“You and I have very different definitions of the word ‘fun,’” I answered.

The first few days, she attacked trouble spots like a human sieve, sifting through years of family knick-knacks.  I helped by sitting on the couch and watching reruns of Deadliest Catch.

Gabby unearthed a treasure trove of random items.  A VCR recording of an episode of Seinfeld.  A twelve- year-old package of funnel cake mix, stashed in a box with a funnel cake maker we have never used. …

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Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever Get A Tattoo (but Having a Baby is Fine)

kids vs tattoos! cute post! and no…I am not getting a tattoo OR having another baby!!!

The Ugly Volvo

I’m not super pro-tattoo or anti-tattoo.  I’ve debated getting one in the past but never that seriously.  But my mother is vehemently anti-tattoo.  Listed below are the reasons my mother has always given me for why I shouldn’t get a tattoo.

And I understand that she’s from a different generation.  And I love my mother very much.  She’s a really wonderful person and I’m not saying none of them is a legitimate reason, but I’m saying that after having a child, I find it really hard to take any of them seriously.

And so in case you were headed out to the tattoo parlor as we speak, here are:


1.  “A Tattoo is Forever”

Yes, a tattoo is forever.  Totally forever!  Except that a tattoo can, if needed, be erased with a laser.

 *Some of you read that and immediately thought, "I am so exhausted, please I need a laser that can temporarily erase a three year-old," but sorry, that is not a thing that exists.  

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