parenting

On Adoption: Parenting as an Adoptee

mom-48958_640

There was never a doubt in my mind that someday I wanted to be a mom. I have always loved children and spent many years babysitting and working with children at church and summer camp. At 21, I married my husband and a few years later we knew we were ready to begin our family. It was when I was pregnant with my first daughter that I fully realized the gravity of what my mother experienced through her pregnancy and relinquishment of me. When I held my newborn daughter, it was the first time I had ever seen a person who was related to me by blood. People-especially in the adoption community-emphasize the importance of love over blood in creating a family. While certainly love is important, blood matters too and this moment was significant to me. As she grew she began to look like me, and I could see so much of myself in her little personality.

Now I have two children and another one on the way. I love my children with every part of my being. But it wasn’t until after I reunited with my mother that I realized I was missing an important piece-an understanding of the bond of mother and child. My children are very much bonded and attached to me…to the point where it often felt needy and overwhelming. I could not grasp it all-I had never felt this way about my adopted mother and so I didn’t understand the need my children had………until I met my birth mother. Suddenly, I understood this powerful bond, this need to communicate and be near her- much like my children acted towards me. I realized that I must not take this for granted in my children. So I snuggle them a little longer, listen carefully to the things they want to tell me, answer all their questions because I finally get it. And I don’t want to miss a thing. I know how quickly they will be grown and gone and I will never retrieve those moments again. Just like I can never retrieve the moments I missed with my mother.

Advertisements

Is God a Giant?

20140123-171409.jpg

What does God look like?
Is God a giant?
Does heaven have bathrooms?
Will we look the same in heaven?
Can God hear me?
I want to die so I can see Him!

These were some of the questions my oldest daughter began to ask by the time she was 3. A deep thinker, her questions often challenged me and her resolve to be with God right now was uncomfortable at first. There were several times she would say ,”I wish I could die so I could see Jesus.” Her faith so strong I found myself scrambling for the best words. I knew she wasn’t suicidal, that at such a young age she didn’t have a plan to die. Her desire to see The Lord was just so strong.

And as I said the words that I hoped would help her to understand that she wanted to be here on earth, I prayed I wasn’t stifling that childlike faith. And I desired to be like her. I finally understood what Christ meant when he said, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Mark 10:15 NIV)

Now 6, she has moved away from talking about death, but her faith remains so strong. Lately she says with an amazing amount of awe and wonder in her voice, “God is so AMAZING, momma! He can do ANYTHING!”

I know she is right, but often I loose the twinkle in my eye, the excitement over the whole thing. Until I pay attention. Until I realize the places and circumstances God has his hand in. Until I let go of my own perceived capabilities. Until I open my ears and my heart to the words of a child. My child, a true gift from a God who loves to reveal Himself in the little things.

I’d love to hear your stories! Have your children ever challenged you in your faith? How has God revealed Himself to you?